Monday, December 18, 2006

Hard Holidays

I know I haven’t written for about two months now and some of you have been asking when I am going to write again. I have wanted to write several times and have had some interesting thoughts but I guess I just had to take a little break. Maybe it just wasn’t time for me to write. Well, I’m back and I will try to write at least a couple of times a month and hopefully more. I can’t promise that I won’t write about dad from time to time but I after this post my desire is to be more upbeat and positive in my writings.

It has been a little over two months since dad went home to be with the Lord. It is so strange, though it has only been two months it seems like he has been gone for an eternity and yet at times I feel like he never left. I really miss him and on more than one occasion I have picked up the phone to call him and ask him a question or just maybe to talk. I wasn’t looking forward to Thanksgiving but I made it through, albeit with only few sad moments, I was dreading it at first but as Thanksgiving Day dawned, I did not fear facing the day without being able to see or talk to my dad. Perhaps it is because we had made our peace with each other long before this episode of illness and we had even confirmed our love for each other just the day before he was placed in ICU. I hear people talk about how hard it is to go through the holidays without their loved ones and I know it is true. But we have to hold on to the memory of what was and not wish for what might have been. Our loved ones have completed their journey on this earth so lets not be sad for them. We should remember the happy times of the past and create happy memories for the future. There will always be an empty spot where our loved ones used to be; there will forever be an empty spot at Christmas breakfast where dad should be but, there will forever be memories of his love for me. Though I will miss dad for the rest of my life I have no regrets about our relationship. Don’t live your life with regret, do what you know is right. Spend time with your family. Make memories that will last a lifetime.

I hope I haven’t rambled too much and I hope you got something out of this message. If you didn’t, I’ll try better next time. After all, I haven’t written in two months, I’m a bit rusty.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Brad Walker