Sunday, October 14, 2007

God's Time

It has been a while since I have posted. For a while I thought there really wasn't much to write about. But on further reflection I realized there was perhaps too much to write about. Today is different. Today there is really only one thing on my mind.

One year ago today, my dad went home to be with the Lord. I have been wondering how I would feel on this particular day. A few days ago I was reading a blog by Dr. Joe McKeever entitled Before You Leave Us. It talked of things that Dr. Joe wanted his parents to know. I commented on that blog as an encouragement to Brother Joe but the next day I received an email from him. He was concerned that he had made me feel bad about not saying some of those things to my dad. I have never met Brother Joe but this one little email showed me that he truly cares about people. So if you get the chance, read his writings. That blog caused me to think of the conversations dad and I had in the weeks and even just a few days before he became too sick to talk. We discussed his salvation and mine and how ready we were to meet the Lord Jesus. We talked of good times we had together, things he wished he had made better decisions on and how he wished we could go fishing.

I wasn't always the best son but I know this, my dad knew how much I loved him. I often got frustrated when going at night to help him to bed as it took time away from my family but I believe God knew what he was doing when he gave me those times to spend with my dad. There were even times while dad was in ICU on a ventilator that God used to allow me to tell dad things I needed to say. Those were pretty good times because dad couldn't argue with me or talk back, all he could do was nod his acknowledgment of what I had told him and mouth the words I Love You.

So how do I feel about today? I thought I would be sad; I even expected a few tears. I definitely miss my daddy greatly and there are things I would love to be able to sit and talk to him about. I have spent much of Saturday and today contemplating why, as I think of not having my dad here, I don't really feel sad or empty. It is often said that "time heals all wounds" but I am not sure that is true. Maybe for physical wounds but I believe the only thing that can heal the loss of a loved one is "God's Time".

You see, me and my dad were close all my life. There were ups and there were downs along the way. As I got older and had my own family, I did not spend as much time with my dad or my mom for that matter. God knew he would be taking dad home soon and He provided opportunities for me to spend time with my dad. I think the one time I cherish the most is having been able to watch and Alabama game with dad in the hospital just a few weeks before he died. Now that was quality time! That was "God's Time"! I firmly believe that God has kept the sadness and hurt out of my life because there is no reason for me to fret over a loved one that is spending their time in Heaven. I know one day Dad and I will be sitting on the banks of the Jordan talking with Jesus and reeling in tons of Crappie for a Heavenly fish fry. That will definitely be "God's Time"!


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