A Visit With Dad on Fathers Day

Posted from Pinson, AL -

Dad came to see me today. No, I'm not crazy. Many of you know that my dad passed away in 2006. So, here's my story.

We had planned lunch for the dads at our house today. Some time in the wee hours of the morning I had a dream. In my dream, it seemed that I was carrying the food in from the grill and I looked up on the deck and I saw dad leaning on the rail, healthy and strong. He smiled and waved and I remember smiling and feeling in my dream a sense of happiness, contentment and just an overall good feeling. When I stepped up on the deck dad was no where to be found. Then I heard the alarm...

I really am not crazy and I don't believe in ghosts. I have been thinking about going to the cemetery all last week but I knew time would not permit. Perhaps it is my own imagination, wishful thinking if you will, expressing a desire to be with my dad on Father's Day. Or, perhaps it was God's way of letting me know that my dad is happy now and that he is proud of the son he left behind. Either way I know I miss my dad very much and it was a great feeling to see him even if it was only in my dream.

I've said it before, my dad may not have been the best dad but to me, there isn't a better one. I can only pray and ask God to help me be the dad He would have me to be and one day maybe my daughter will think I was a pretty good dad too.

Thanks for stopping by today dad, even if it was just in a dream. Whether it was of God or my own imagination, it really made my day. I love you dad and Happy Father's Day!

God's Time

It has been a while since I have posted. For a while I thought there really wasn't much to write about. But on further reflection I realized there was perhaps too much to write about. Today is different. Today there is really only one thing on my mind.

One year ago today, my dad went home to be with the Lord. I have been wondering how I would feel on this particular day. A few days ago I was reading a blog by Dr. Joe McKeever entitled Before You Leave Us. It talked of things that Dr. Joe wanted his parents to know. I commented on that blog as an encouragement to Brother Joe but the next day I received an email from him. He was concerned that he had made me feel bad about not saying some of those things to my dad. I have never met Brother Joe but this one little email showed me that he truly cares about people. So if you get the chance, read his writings. That blog caused me to think of the conversations dad and I had in the weeks and even just a few days before he became too sick to talk. We discussed his salvation and mine and how ready we were to meet the Lord Jesus. We talked of good times we had together, things he wished he had made better decisions on and how he wished we could go fishing.

I wasn't always the best son but I know this, my dad knew how much I loved him. I often got frustrated when going at night to help him to bed as it took time away from my family but I believe God knew what he was doing when he gave me those times to spend with my dad. There were even times while dad was in ICU on a ventilator that God used to allow me to tell dad things I needed to say. Those were pretty good times because dad couldn't argue with me or talk back, all he could do was nod his acknowledgment of what I had told him and mouth the words I Love You.

So how do I feel about today? I thought I would be sad; I even expected a few tears. I definitely miss my daddy greatly and there are things I would love to be able to sit and talk to him about. I have spent much of Saturday and today contemplating why, as I think of not having my dad here, I don't really feel sad or empty. It is often said that "time heals all wounds" but I am not sure that is true. Maybe for physical wounds but I believe the only thing that can heal the loss of a loved one is "God's Time".

You see, me and my dad were close all my life. There were ups and there were downs along the way. As I got older and had my own family, I did not spend as much time with my dad or my mom for that matter. God knew he would be taking dad home soon and He provided opportunities for me to spend time with my dad. I think the one time I cherish the most is having been able to watch and Alabama game with dad in the hospital just a few weeks before he died. Now that was quality time! That was "God's Time"! I firmly believe that God has kept the sadness and hurt out of my life because there is no reason for me to fret over a loved one that is spending their time in Heaven. I know one day Dad and I will be sitting on the banks of the Jordan talking with Jesus and reeling in tons of Crappie for a Heavenly fish fry. That will definitely be "God's Time"!

Brad


Technorati Tags: Sadness, Time, Loss, Family, Hurt

Who's Your Daddy?

Composed from sunny Tampa, FL --



I have been attending the INNUA Global Connect technology conference in Tampa this week and I had the opportunity to hear a very interesting and captivating speaker. His name is Frank Abagnale, Jr.. Frank spent over five years in the Sixties living under assumed identities and passing bad checks worth over $2.5 million in at least 26 countries. I would encourage you to read his ghostwritten biography Catch Me If You Can or see the 2002 Steven Spielberg movie by the same name. Or better yet, find Frank speaking somewhere and get it straight from him.



As a technology professional, I was looking forward to hearing about his exploits and how he helps fight similar fraudulent activity today. Instead, he told his story in his words. It is a very exciting story in which he left home at the age of 16 and traveled the world on his mature looks and forging checks to survive. Finally caught, after serving time in a couple of European prisons, Frank is escorted home by the FBI and learns of his fathers death. I found the remainder of his speech fascinating and impressive as he began to speak of what it means to be, not just a father, but a DADDY!



With Father's Day approaching, I found it very appropriate and that is why I am writing this today. Frank spoke of how his father, Frank, Sr., never failed to kiss his children and tell them he loved them. He said to be a man, you have to become a daddy. Anyone can be a father to a child but only a man would show the affection and care to his family and children that makes him a daddy. Frank, Jr. realized that God had given him a second chance to be a man.



God intended us, as men, to be daddies. Being faithful to our families, our friends and most of all to our God. That is what makes a real man. I have many similar memories of my father. I can't remember a time that he failed to tell me he loved me. Not even when he was angry with me. Even when I had grown up and had my own family, dad always made it a point to give me a hug or a kiss on the cheek and tell me he loved me. I miss him everyday and I still see the lessons I learned from him as I act them out, most of the time, unknowingly.



So, I want you to ask yourself this Father's Day, "Who's Your Daddy?". I'm not implying that you don't know who he is, but rather, do you consider him just your father or do you consider him your daddy? Being a daddy means you make sacrifices for the benefit of your family. A daddy sacrifices without questioning if it is the right thing to do. To allow a child to have things better than they had them, daddies give up many things. Many times we as children don't see those sacrifices but they are made anyway.



So, if you are a father, if you have children of your own, adopted children, foster children, or if you mentor a child in any way; go be a daddy today. Start the process of positive lessons and memories for your precious children. As Frank Abagnale stated in his speech, "Children are entitled to a mother and a father." As unpopular as it may be to say we, as parents, have no right to take that entitlement away through divorce. Go be a daddy!!!



Children, if your daddy is still alive and you can get in touch with him, tell him how much you appreciate the things he does or has done for you. I think a man, a daddy, needs to hear that. He won't complain if he doesn't but if you realize how much he loves you, he deserves to know he's made a difference in your life. I was able to tell my dad before he passed away that he had made a difference in my life and I was still learning lessons from him, important lessons, through his illness. Even though he was unable to express himself verbally near the end of his life, he knew that he would not be with me much longer but, I could see the pride in his eyes as he realized that even through his faults, he had raised a man and a daddy.



Today, I make it a point to always tell my wife and daughter I love them. Even if they are asleep, they both receive a kiss and an 'I Love You' from me. I hope they always know that if I am home, they may not have felt the kiss or heard the words, but I have kissed them good night and told them I love them. And when I travel, I always call home before they go to bed with an I love you, no matter what my schedule.



Girls, I'll see you in a few hours!! Daddy loves you both very much!!



Posted from Nashville, TN airport --



Brad